My Ambitious Christmas List - 2023
Being ambitious about the things I want, but also tempering it. Maturing.
It's been a less-than-stellar year. I was laid off for the first time in my young career and out of work for nearly 6 months. I've landed on my feet, but going 6 months on unemployment put a lot in perspective. I'm a man with an insatiable appetite. I want a big home, a fast car, a nice watch, good clothes, and the ability to go on vacation. Am I living in a fantasy? Not your business! Being unemployed, on the other hand, has allowed me to sit back and think about the essentials. I'm wearing little Casio watches these days instead of my two-tone Tudor, which only comes out on special occasions. I haven't purchased a single piece of designer clothing in months if not years. I've learned how to live much more simply, despite my gargantuan appetite.
In years past, my ambitious Christmas list was all about big, flashy, ostentatious items that I wanted. My list was full of pipe dreams. This year, it'll be a bit different. These items are still going to be expensive, but not expensive to the point where I'd need to touch Kendall Roy-levels of wealth to be able to afford them. These items will be slightly out of what I can responsibly afford at the current moment. In that regard, this is more of a general Christmas list. At the end of typing this, I will print it out and ship it to the North Pole. If a beaded chubby guy decides to do a breaking and entering in the wee morning hours of December 25th to leave me a new Macbook, I'd welcome it. Let's jump in:
A yearly membership to the Equinox
Your boy is out of shape and needs to get it together. Plain and simple! I'd like to work out somewhere spacious, which for whatever reason is the only requirement I have in a gym. The Equinox is pretty much as good as it gets, so I'm welcoming anyone who wants to hook it up.
An Acne Studios Puffer Jacket
Puffer jackets come in all shapes, sizes, and price points. I've been wearing a Uniqlo one when the temperature dips and it’s served me pretty well. While I’ve gotten a lot of good use out of it, I want to upgrade eventually. Acne Studios is an unpretentious, avant-garde Swedish brand that consistently produces some of the most high-quality, coolest articles of clothing in the world. This black puffer jacket is appropriate for any situation while having enough elevated detail to differentiate it from the pack. The down material doesn't quilt along the piece, it's just smooth. I know that's not a good way of explaining it but just look at the image lmao.
Cartier Tank - Stainless Steel, Quartz
Usually, I include the most expensive and over-the-top pieces from Vacheron Constantin or Patek Phillipe in this list, but I'm a new man this year. I've been exchanging opulence for understated, and ostentatius for minimalist. I have been wearing little digital Casios lately, which is teaching me that having a collection of 20+ watches is a little insane. The collector’s gene inside me has been whooping my ass. I still want nice watches, but I aspire to a smaller collection full of classic, elegant pieces. A Cartier Tank and a Vintage Rolex are the only watches I want at this point that I don’t already have. A Rolex feels like a milestone watch, so I will wait to grab that (my 30th birthday is coming up though). Gold Tanks can set you back as much as $10K, but the stainless steel, battery-powered quartz version is only around $3,500 - much, much better. A Tank is the epitome of effortless elegance, looking great on a leather strap or a metal bracelet. It can be worn with literally anything and it would look right at home. It's small and subtle enough to go unnoticed when in public. It's also technically the first-ever wristwatch, so it comes with plenty of historical significance.
A Two-Week Vacation to the South of France
I've never been to France, and as much as I'd love to go to Paris, I'd rather go somewhere chill. My ideal French trip would start in Paris for a couple of days to see the city and soak up the cuisine/culture/art/history, and then hop on a train to the Riviera. I'd rather be Tender is the Night than The Sun Also Rises. Let's go to Cannes, St. Tropez and Monaco. I want to feel like Cary Grant in "To Catch a Thief" and waltz around the town in a Briton top and oversized trousers. Give me a little bandana to tie around my neck and a miniature swimsuit to hang out at the beach in. The whole aesthetic and general vibe speak to me
Apple Macbook Pro
I purchased a Macbook Pro in early 2018, and 5 and a half years later, it is starting to break down. Apple products aren't meant to last forever, unfortunately. There's a saying in the world of haute horology that goes "No one ever owns a Patek Philippe, they're just taking care of it for the next generation." The opposite is true of Apple products - you don't own them, you're just paying $500/year for the computer for 5 years until you trade it in for a $250 trade-in value towards a new $2,000 computer. I need the speed, and the power, but I cannot justify dropping two grand for a new computer at the moment.
Playstation 5 with NBA 2K24, Madden 24, FC24, etc..
We all wish there were more hours in the day to do the things we want to do. One of the things I wish I had more time for is video games. I don't want to give y'all the impression that I'm this hardcore gamer, because I suck at videogames. I have no hand-eye coordination and would get run by teenagers in any Fortnight game. I just love the escapism of sports games. I play NBA 2K on the Nintendo Switch once a week or so, which is a shame because I find it one of the most relaxing ways to end a day.
A PS5 would be a fun way to upgrade my sports gaming experience because everyone knows that it is the best system. It'll also connect to just about any streaming service that you have. I need it so bad.
LG 70in UHD Smart TV
The Trinity Test scene in “Oppenheimer” would make me feel like I was actually in that desert in Los Alamos. $550 for a TV is cheaper than floor seats at the Staples Center, but it would feel like I’m really there! The Niners’ Superbowl run (manifesting) would be epic in 70 inches of ultra-high definition television. I'd also just like to give my rewatch of Vanderpump Rules season 2 the respect that it deserves.
Can you imagine NBA 2K24 on a 70" beast? If I get anything from this list, it would be this.
A Breville Coffee Maker
I am sensitive to caffeine, so I only drink decaf. Despite my caffeine-related handicap, I still enjoy the ritual of crafting a lovely cup of mud. A good friend of mine got a Breville coffee machine last year for Christmas and he loves giving us demonstrations on how to use it. It would be 1 in the morning after a night at the bars and he'd be making espresso. Specific Breville coffee machines are all about the process. You can grind the beans, pack the machine with the grounds, brew the coffee, froth the cream, and put it all together in one well-crafted package. Again, I love the ritual, even if I only drink decaf.
The Row Suit Trousers
I have been wearing the same wide-legged black trousers from Uniqlo multiple times per day for the last 6 months, and they are beginning to show signs of wear and tear. The buttons on the back jeans have seemingly disappeared and a couple of persistent stains have appeared. It would be nice to make an upgrade to the king of the wide-legged trousers and grab a pair from The Row. Understated, beautifully flowy, and has some of the best garment construction in the world. This is what it is all about. These pants would make me feel like I'm on top of the world
Peace and Love